In this series, Strangers host Lea Thau takes a look at her own life and why she’s struggling to find a partner, including interviewing men she’s dated in the past.
If you’ve ever asked yourself “What’s wrong with me?” after a breakup or a long stretch without a date, these episodes are for you.
Love Hurts 2
Love Hurts 3
Love Hurts 4
Love Hurts – The Follow Up
Love Hurts – One Year Later
Here’s a small collection of recommended posts and books for anyone who feels completely clueless in the world of dating or has never really dated.
Dating Advice #273 – Highly Inexperienced
A socially awkward 36-year-old man receives dating advice. For me, it was surprisingly inspiring and heartwarming.
Frustrated: A Dating Success Story
You might expect that a dating ‘success story’ must end in a happy relationship. This woman’s first-ever attempt at dating ends in frustration, but it’s a success story nonetheless.
I’ve Been Single For My Entire Life
Katie Heaney has never been on a date. She’s also refreshingly normal and an entertaining writer. If you enjoyed the article, you can read more in her light, humorous book Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date.
Inside the Mind of Guys who are Shy and Inexperienced with Women
A lot of this applies to women as well, at least it does for me. I read this article a couple years ago and it’s interesting to see the progress I’ve made.
I reviewed this book in one of my very first posts (here). Back then, I said that reading this book was the single most helpful step in transforming my outlook on dating. I still stand by that statement.
I’m not one of those girls who enjoys talking about my feelings. Actually, I kind of hate it. Even the phrase ‘talk about my feelings’ makes me cringe a little, but I’m finally learning that being able to talk about certain things has really helped me to deal with them and move on.
Before online dating, there was video dating.
Yikes.
After the first date with Amar, I knew I didn’t want to take things any further. He was a decent guy, but his main interests seemed to be spending time on his computer or going out partying, which didn’t feel like a good fit for me. He was clearly still interested and texted me a few times. Rather than tell him how I felt, I just ignored his texts, leaving him to get the hint. I believe they call this technique the ‘fade out’ in dating jargon.
I like to hike and I go reasonably often with groups organized through Meetup.com. On one particular walk, I went with a group of about 12 different people. There were several guys about my age and I talked to most of them along the 3 hour walk. One was a tall Iranian who had recently moved here and was working on his Phd in English literature. Of all the people on the walk, I talked with him the most.
A few days later, I got a message from Amar*. We messaged back and forth a little bit and eventually arranged to meet for drinks after work one evening. I was looking forward to it since he was quite a nice guy and we seemed to have a lot in common.
I met Andrew* while playing tennis. We started spending a lot of time together, going for bike rides, out for dinner and watching movies. It was nice to have a default person to spend time with.
It was obvious that he wanted a girlfriend, which should have seemed great for me, the chronically single, but I found that I rarely initiated conversations with him, waiting for him to contact me and delaying responding to his text messages.
It’s so easy to put off dating until later. It’s easier to assume you’ll get better at relationships as you get older and everything will magically work itself out. But in ten years, you might be kicking yourself for not trying harder now. The following exercises are designed to help you find motivation for dating now and focusing on improving your relationship skills now, rather than continuing to put it off.
I can honestly say that right now, I’m thoroughly enjoying being single, and the funny thing is, the less time I spend wishing I was in a relationship, the more attention I get. I’ve literally had more guys interested in me in the past year than in the past ten!
“Finding the love of your life and the life that you love.”
With its unappealing cover and awkward tagline, Conscious Dating didn’t look like it was worth the time needed to read its 600 pages, but I read it anyway. A year later, I read it again. Reading this book has been the single most helpful step in transforming my outlook on dating. While it’s certainly never going to be a best-seller, it has improved my confidence as a single person and helped me to believe I will eventually find a lasting relationship.
Date By Number 