Love Hurts – A Series from Strangers

In this series, Strangers host Lea Thau takes a look at her own life and why she’s struggling to find a partner, including interviewing men she’s dated in the past.

If you’ve ever asked yourself “What’s wrong with me?” after a breakup or a long stretch without a date, these episodes are for you.

Love Hurts 2
Love Hurts 3
Love Hurts 4
Love Hurts – The Follow Up
Love Hurts – One Year Later

 

Good Reads – Part 1

 

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Here’s a small collection of recommended posts and books for anyone who feels completely clueless in the world of dating or has never really dated.

Dating Advice #273 – Highly Inexperienced

A socially awkward 36-year-old man receives dating advice. For me, it was surprisingly inspiring and heartwarming.

Frustrated: A Dating Success Story

You might expect that a dating ‘success story’ must end in a happy relationship. This woman’s first-ever attempt at dating ends in frustration, but it’s a success story nonetheless.

I’ve Been Single For My Entire Life

Katie Heaney has never been on a date. She’s also refreshingly normal and an entertaining writer. If you enjoyed the article, you can read more in her light, humorous book Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date.

Inside the Mind of Guys who are Shy and Inexperienced with Women

A lot of this applies to women as well, at least it does for me. I read this article a couple years ago and it’s interesting to see the progress I’ve made.

Conscious Dating

I reviewed this book in one of my very first posts (here). Back then, I said that reading this book was the single most helpful step in transforming my outlook on dating. I still stand by that statement.

Oops – Part 2

After the first date with Amar, I knew I didn’t want to take things any further. He was a decent guy, but his main interests seemed to be spending time on his computer or going out partying, which didn’t feel like a good fit for me. He was clearly still interested and texted me a few times. Rather than tell him how I felt, I just ignored his texts, leaving him to get the hint. I believe they call this technique the ‘fade out’ in dating jargon.

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Oops

I like to hike and I go reasonably often with groups organized through Meetup.com. On one particular walk, I went with a group of about 12 different people. There were several guys about my age and I talked to most of them along the 3 hour walk. One was a tall Iranian who had recently moved here and was working on his Phd in English literature. Of all the people on the walk, I talked with him the most.

A few days later, I got a message from Amar*. We messaged back and forth a little bit and eventually arranged to meet for drinks after work one evening. I was looking forward to it since he was quite a nice guy and we seemed to have a lot in common.

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A Breakup Email

I met Andrew* while playing tennis. We started spending a lot of time together, going for bike rides, out for dinner and watching movies. It was nice to have a default person to spend time with.

It was obvious that he wanted a girlfriend, which should have seemed great for me, the chronically single, but I found that I rarely initiated conversations with him, waiting for him to contact me and delaying responding to his text messages.

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