Good Reads – Part 1

 

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Here’s a small collection of recommended posts and books for anyone who feels completely clueless in the world of dating or has never really dated.

Dating Advice #273 – Highly Inexperienced

A socially awkward 36-year-old man receives dating advice. For me, it was surprisingly inspiring and heartwarming.

Frustrated: A Dating Success Story

You might expect that a dating ‘success story’ must end in a happy relationship. This woman’s first-ever attempt at dating ends in frustration, but it’s a success story nonetheless.

I’ve Been Single For My Entire Life

Katie Heaney has never been on a date. She’s also refreshingly normal and an entertaining writer. If you enjoyed the article, you can read more in her light, humorous book Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date.

Inside the Mind of Guys who are Shy and Inexperienced with Women

A lot of this applies to women as well, at least it does for me. I read this article a couple years ago and it’s interesting to see the progress I’ve made.

Conscious Dating

I reviewed this book in one of my very first posts (here). Back then, I said that reading this book was the single most helpful step in transforming my outlook on dating. I still stand by that statement.

Dating Advice from Quiet Revolution

QuietBookCover.jpg

Quiet Revolution is a website started by Susan Cain, author of the bestseller Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking.

If the thought of meeting someone in a loud bar or going out clubbing sounds dreadful to you, you might like their articles on dating:

Dating While Introverted: What You Need to Know

Extroverts Sparkle, Introverts Glow: What You Bring to the Dating Game

Introvert-Friendly Tips, Tricks & Locales for the Dreaded First Date

An Introverts Guide to Breaking Up

Find Love By Embracing These Truths About Yourself

Enjoy!

How non-attachment changed my outlook on dating

In An Introduction to Non-Attachment I described the basic idea of non-attachment. As promised, here’s the (belated) follow-up.

Even after creating this blog, the idea of dating still weighed heavily on my shoulders. So much of my imagined future depended on the success of my attempts at dating. If I spent all this time and energy trying to find a long-term relationship and still failed, what would that say about me?

The possibility of trying and still failing was scarier than doing nothing, so that’s exactly what I ended up doing: nothing. I felt stuck.

stuck again

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Oops – Part 2

After the first date with Amar, I knew I didn’t want to take things any further. He was a decent guy, but his main interests seemed to be spending time on his computer or going out partying, which didn’t feel like a good fit for me. He was clearly still interested and texted me a few times. Rather than tell him how I felt, I just ignored his texts, leaving him to get the hint. I believe they call this technique the ‘fade out’ in dating jargon.

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Dear Me

It’s so easy to put off dating until later. It’s easier to assume you’ll get better at relationships as you get older and everything will magically work itself out. But in ten years, you might be kicking yourself for not trying harder now. The following exercises are designed to help you find motivation for dating now and focusing on improving your relationship skills now, rather than continuing to put it off.

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