Part of the series of comics on dating and/or math.
Good Reads – Part 1
Here’s a small collection of recommended posts and books for anyone who feels completely clueless in the world of dating or has never really dated.
Dating Advice #273 – Highly Inexperienced
A socially awkward 36-year-old man receives dating advice. For me, it was surprisingly inspiring and heartwarming.
Frustrated: A Dating Success Story
You might expect that a dating ‘success story’ must end in a happy relationship. This woman’s first-ever attempt at dating ends in frustration, but it’s a success story nonetheless.
I’ve Been Single For My Entire Life
Katie Heaney has never been on a date. She’s also refreshingly normal and an entertaining writer. If you enjoyed the article, you can read more in her light, humorous book Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date.
Inside the Mind of Guys who are Shy and Inexperienced with Women
A lot of this applies to women as well, at least it does for me. I read this article a couple years ago and it’s interesting to see the progress I’ve made.
I reviewed this book in one of my very first posts (here). Back then, I said that reading this book was the single most helpful step in transforming my outlook on dating. I still stand by that statement.
Part of a series of comics on dating and math.
Dating Advice from Quiet Revolution
Quiet Revolution is a website started by Susan Cain, author of the bestseller Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking.
If the thought of meeting someone in a loud bar or going out clubbing sounds dreadful to you, you might like their articles on dating:
Dating While Introverted: What You Need to Know
Extroverts Sparkle, Introverts Glow: What You Bring to the Dating Game
Introvert-Friendly Tips, Tricks & Locales for the Dreaded First Date
An Introverts Guide to Breaking Up
Find Love By Embracing These Truths About Yourself
How non-attachment changed my outlook on dating
In An Introduction to Non-Attachment I described the basic idea of non-attachment. As promised, here’s the (belated) follow-up.
Even after creating this blog, the idea of dating still weighed heavily on my shoulders. So much of my imagined future depended on the success of my attempts at dating. If I spent all this time and energy trying to find a long-term relationship and still failed, what would that say about me?
The possibility of trying and still failing was scarier than doing nothing, so that’s exactly what I ended up doing: nothing. I felt stuck.
Oops – Part 2
After the first date with Amar, I knew I didn’t want to take things any further. He was a decent guy, but his main interests seemed to be spending time on his computer or going out partying, which didn’t feel like a good fit for me. He was clearly still interested and texted me a few times. Rather than tell him how I felt, I just ignored his texts, leaving him to get the hint. I believe they call this technique the ‘fade out’ in dating jargon.
It’s so easy to put off dating until later. It’s easier to assume you’ll get better at relationships as you get older and everything will magically work itself out. But in ten years, you might be kicking yourself for not trying harder now. The following exercises are designed to help you find motivation for dating now and focusing on improving your relationship skills now, rather than continuing to put it off.
Book Review: Conscious Dating
“Finding the love of your life and the life that you love.”
With its unappealing cover and awkward tagline, Conscious Dating didn’t look like it was worth the time needed to read its 600 pages, but I read it anyway. A year later, I read it again. Reading this book has been the single most helpful step in transforming my outlook on dating. While it’s certainly never going to be a best-seller, it has improved my confidence as a single person and helped me to believe I will eventually find a lasting relationship.
You’re Not Alone
I used to feel incredibly embarrassed, even ashamed, about my lack of experience with guys. I would keep quiet when friends talked about their relationships for fear they would ask about mine and find out the truth. It wasn’t just mildly embarrassing, it was crippling. It felt like some shameful secret that I didn’t want anyone to ever find out about. It may seem like an exaggeration, but this really is how I felt.
One key thing that helped me get past this feeling was realizing there were other people like me.