Crying

Robin Weis, the same girl who brought us 8 years of dating data, tracked her crying patterns for 589 days, rating them on a scale from ‘a tear or two’ to ‘I am a crumpled pile of flesh’. She cried on 216 of those days. And I thought cried a lot.

 Number of Cries Per Day

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She categorized each cry into 8 general categories, shown in the graph below. The mound of purple life-related cries on the left side was largely during a 10 week trip to Europe. A large proportion of her cries were breakup and relationship related, which included finding out her boyfriend was married. Yep, that’s bound to cause some tears. Check out her full post here.

Categories of Cries Over Time

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What I’ve found interesting

  • Relationships and breakups appear to cause a lot of negative emotions. It’d be interesting to see what a graph of positive emotions due to relationships would look like, though that would be harder to quantify. Crying generally has an obvious beginning and end, but how would you track your start of happy feelings and end of happy feelings as precisely?
  • Is travel-crying a thing? Robin mentions that almost 20% of her crying occurred while she was traveling solo. I had a similar experience recently when I was in South America. It can be particularly uncomfortable if you’re staying in a hostel and there’s nowhere private where you can just go and cry. Has anyone else experienced this?

As I’m taking my first steps into the world of online dating (I just signed up to OKCupid for the first time) it can be a little scary seeing the amount of angst relationships can cause. Might I be more comfortable staying safely single?

I hate to be yet another blog that touts the benefits of travel, but my experience with travel is relevant here. Even though I spent a lot of time being unhappy while traveling, overall it was a rewarding experience that enhanced my life and I’d do it again. As for dating, it’s a risk I’m willing to take.

 

Dating Advice from Quiet Revolution

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Quiet Revolution is a website started by Susan Cain, author of the bestseller Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking.

If the thought of meeting someone in a loud bar or going out clubbing sounds dreadful to you, you might like their articles on dating:

Dating While Introverted: What You Need to Know

Extroverts Sparkle, Introverts Glow: What You Bring to the Dating Game

Introvert-Friendly Tips, Tricks & Locales for the Dreaded First Date

An Introverts Guide to Breaking Up

Find Love By Embracing These Truths About Yourself

Enjoy!

Oops – Part 2

After the first date with Amar, I knew I didn’t want to take things any further. He was a decent guy, but his main interests seemed to be spending time on his computer or going out partying, which didn’t feel like a good fit for me. He was clearly still interested and texted me a few times. Rather than tell him how I felt, I just ignored his texts, leaving him to get the hint. I believe they call this technique the ‘fade out’ in dating jargon.

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A Breakup Email

I met Andrew* while playing tennis. We started spending a lot of time together, going for bike rides, out for dinner and watching movies. It was nice to have a default person to spend time with.

It was obvious that he wanted a girlfriend, which should have seemed great for me, the chronically single, but I found that I rarely initiated conversations with him, waiting for him to contact me and delaying responding to his text messages.

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