Do I light your fire? – By Pinky

Here’s the latest from Pinky, who’s going to be a semi-regular contributor!

Valentine’s Day was last weekend. A day to to show your love and appreciation for that special someone. It is hard to forget Valentine’s Day what with all the commercialisation of it (chocolates, roses, 2 for 1 deals, the colour red is everywhere); but it is easy to forget to show the love and respect for one particular special person: You.

heart candle

Think of a candle. Not just any candle, but a magical one. This candle lights up from within, it radiates light, warmth, kindness, happiness, self-confidence…. It is your self-love. When you want to share this love with someone, they will put their wick into your flame, and borrow some of your love.

What happens when you don’t have self-love? Your candle will have no flame. Someone might come along, take pity and light your fire. But it is not a magical candle. The flame will burn out and the candle will degrade. You continually rely on that other person to light your fire… But when that person runs out of matches, will they buy a new matchbox? They might… But are you really worth the price of a matchbox?


Too much self-love? That’s possible. This is when your self-love has lost it’s “sharing” flame. Your candle will still radiate with happiness, kindness, self-confidence… But also with vanity, selfishness, egoism and narcissism. You want to show everyone how much self-love you have but no one is allowed come near or into your world. It is almost like you are living in a glass house locked from the inside. And we all know what happens to a candle when it’s locked inside a container.

glass candle
3 lessons:
1. Say “I love you”, only if you can say it to yourself
2. If you don’t love yourself, you can’t expect anyone else to love you either
3. Don’t rely on others to light your candle

Love you all,

Happy Valentines Day!

2 thoughts on “Do I light your fire? – By Pinky

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