After the first date with Amar, I knew I didn’t want to take things any further. He was a decent guy, but his main interests seemed to be spending time on his computer or going out partying, which didn’t feel like a good fit for me. He was clearly still interested and texted me a few times. Rather than tell him how I felt, I just ignored his texts, leaving him to get the hint. I believe they call this technique the ‘fade out’ in dating jargon.

I probably wouldn’t have given it a second thought, except I ran into him again a couple months later. We worked near each other and although we worked very different hours in different buildings, we eventually crossed paths. He was friendly and we had some awkward chit chat before we went our separate ways, but I was left feeling particularly uncomfortable. It was more than I would expect from ‘first-date-that didn’t-work-out’ awkwardness because I was feeling guilty for not having been upfront with him.

If I’d never run into him again, I don’t think I would have realized I should have done something differently. I could have gone on my merry way without learning from my mistakes. It’s easier to be a jerk when you never have to be reminded of your actions.

So, lesson learned. I promise, the next time I’m in this situation, I’ll tell the guy I’m not interested and not leave him hanging. Go easy on me. I’m new at this.