“Finding the love of your life and the life that you love.”

With its unappealing cover and awkward tagline, Conscious Dating didn’t look like it was worth the time needed to read its 600 pages, but I read it anyway. A year later, I read it again. Reading this book has been the single most helpful step in transforming my outlook on dating. While it’s certainly never going to be a best-seller, it has improved my confidence as a single person and helped me to believe I will eventually find a lasting relationship.

The author, David Steele, originally worked with couples as a marriage and family therapist. He found that these struggling couples needed advice long before they got into their relationships. Eager to work with singles, he found there was an abundance of advice about how to get into (any) relationship, but not how to find a sustainable, long-term relationship. This book is the result of his many years spent learning how to help singles find their life partner.

Even though his writing style is clichéd at times and some of his claims are unconvincing (specifically, the law of attraction), Steele gives logical, clear advice and many of the exercises are enlightening. Reading this book helped me see that being single is a rare chance to focus on myself and that I should make the most of it. By working through the exercises I was able to clarify what I want and need in a relationship in order for it to have the best chance of working out.

Buy it, borrow it or skip it?

In the beginning of the book, Steele writes that “most singles need to overcome fears, become more authentic with others, focus on the big picture of their life and not be in such a desperate hurry to find a relationship.” If that sounds like you, buy the book. Don’t let my complaints about his writing style deter you. He is a relationship coach, and not a writer, after all.  Plus, the e-book is only $3.99 on Amazon. If it seems too long, skip to the relevant chapters and spend some time working through the exercises. I really believe it’ll be worth your time.